The Battle of Stamford Bridge

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dlancy

The Battle of Stamford Bridge

Post by dlancy » Sat Aug 09, 2008 5:05 pm

The Battle of Stamford Bridge is as a result of the Allies, Russia, Spain, France, and the Piedmontese landing launching the largest invasion fleet in the history of warfare. It is said to have rivaled the Greeks at Troy. Whilst the French fleet fought a valiant sea engament and were forced to retire in good order, the Spanish landed and liberated Ireland. The huge Russian fleet set sail from St Petersburg and took the English Midlands in a series ofr siges and small actions. The Spanish and the Piedmontese sailed from Ireland and have joined forces. The British have overextend their Empire to such an extent that they only have a relatively small army left to defend London. The very symbol and heart of England and her domains. With a small force from her Prussian allie stationed in London Britain is only able to field an army haf the size of the Allies.............

"This should be a laugh!" The Glasgow Herald.
"It ain't easy being Green!" The Sun London.
"Allies confident of good result." ESPN.
"Russians under doping cloud." CNN.
"The key is bulldog defence." The Times
"Prussian found with a sense of humour!" The National Enquirer

The Czarist with the Mostest......

dlancy

Re: The Battle of Stamford Bridge

Post by dlancy » Sat Aug 09, 2008 5:07 pm

Media release from the British.

LONDON GAZETTE


BYNG EXECUTED

Admiral Byng has been executed on board the flagship Resolution after being found guilty of breaching the 12th Article of War, in that he failed “to do his utmost to take or destroy every ship which it shall be his duty to engage”.
Some say that the Admiral was a scapegoat for the failures of the Admiralty in anticipating and properly preparing for the invasion of our sacred soil.
Others say that the act will “encourager les autres” in our most desperate hour.

True Englishmen will already be aware that Byngs failure has resulted in many Europeans appearing in this country. To assist in your understanding some are good (Prussians), the rest are bad (Other Europeans). They can be distinguished as follows:
Men wearing dark blue are good, men wearing white or green are bad.
Another way of distinguishing them is as follows:
Men of soldierly bearing, well disciplined and well behaved, tall, strong, handsome with a sporting martial air about them are good (Prussians).
Medium sized men with an affected air, beauty spots on their cheeks and rouge on their lips walking around with a kink in their wrists are French (bad). (Be careful not to laugh as they are very touchy)
Medium sized men will an air of confusion and a look of being totally lost are also bad (Piedmontese).
Small Men with a furtive, sneaky look who like to sing badly are bad as well (Spanish)
Squat, ape like figures with a look of astonishment every time they see a village church clock and who cannot tell the difference between a water closet and a milk pail are very bad (Russians).

King George has admonished every Englishman to Do his Duty and Show what will make Britannia great. Every true Englishman should pray for Confusion to the French… and Spanish, Russians, Piedmontese, Poles, Irish, Lawyers etc etc.

dlancy

Re: The Battle of Stamford Bridge

Post by dlancy » Sat Aug 09, 2008 5:10 pm

A response from the all conquering Spanish commander'N'chief. Who just loves the taste of potatoes so much he bought the country.

I just fell off my chair that was so funny!

dlancy

Re: The Battle of Stamford Bridge

Post by dlancy » Sat Aug 09, 2008 5:12 pm

And from the great Czar himself.

You call that a wall of death!!!!

Nooooooo......

THIS IS A WALL OF DEATH...!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

dlancy

Re: The Battle of Stamford Bridge

Post by dlancy » Sat Aug 09, 2008 5:15 pm

AND THE Piedmontese were heard to say but you guys said we were of Vegas!

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